Awake Lyrics

All music and lyrics by Barbara McAfee unless otherwise noted.
© Big Bug Music

Lavish World
It didn’t need to be this way
The sun could set the same way every day
Instead we’ve got a daily blessing that takes the breath away.
There could have been one kind of rose in the world
Or only three shades of blue
And the cardinal and crow might have had to share one song between the two

Chorus:
It’s a lavish world
It’s a lavish world
Such a lavish world
 
It didn’t need to be this fine
The smell of sun-warmed white pine
The meeting of water and skin in a cool northern lake
We might have lived without dancing
Or in silence instead of song
And the flavors upon the tongue might have been less sweet or tart or strong....Chorus
 
It didn’t need to be sublime
The Universe inventing all the time
The millions of miniscule gestures that keep life alive
People might have shared one language
For calling God by name
It could have been different, we might have all been the same
Chorus

I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel to Be Free
by Billy Taylor & Dick Dallas
I wish I knew how it would feel to be free
I wish I could break all the chains holding me
I wish I could say all the things I should say
Say ‘em loud, say, ‘em clear for the whole world to hear
 
I wish I could share all the love that’s in my heart
Remove all the bars that still keep us apart
I wish you could know what it means to be me
Then you’d see and agree everyone should be free
 
I wish I could give all I’m longing to give
I wish I could live like I’m longing to live
I wish I could do all the things I can do
Though I’m way overdue, I’d be starting anew
 
I wish I could be like a bird in the sky
How sweet it would be if I found I could fly
I’d soar to the sun and look down at the sea
Then I’d sing ‘cause I’d know how it feels to be free
 
Still
Living in the crouch before the leap
Muscles tense and aching and my heart is fast asleep
I am going nowhere ---fast
I will until at last  -  I stand still
 
Go fast enough, avoid the deep
Life’s a messy business and the price can get so steep
I am trifling with my time
I will be until I’m  - standing still
 
Still -- here
Still -- breathing
Still -- alive
 
Quiet desperation’s on the rise
It’s reaching fever pitch right behind my eyes
I am weary of the ruse
And of dropping frantic clues
Now I’ll stand -- still
 
Storm clouds are gathering for the west
When old things fall apart, sometimes it’s for the best
We are headed for a fall
That will force us each and all
To stand still
 
Still -- here
Still -- breathing
Still -- alive
 
Living in the crouch before the leap
Muscles tense and aching and my heart is fast asleep
I am going nowhere ---fast
I will until at last  -  I stand still

Last Night I Dreamed
Based on a poem by Antonio Machado, translated by Robert Bly
Last night I dreamed, marvelous error
There was a spring breaking out in my heart
Along what secret passages water you'll come
Water of new life that I've never drunk

Last night I dreamed, marvelous error
There was a beehive here in my heart
And the golden bees were making white combs
Making sweet honey from my old mistakes

Last night I dreamed, marvelous error,
There was a fiery sun in my heart
It was fiery, it gave off warmth like a hearth
Like the sun it gave light and brought tears to my eyes

Last night I dreamed, marvelous error,
That is was God I had here in my heart.

Unfinished Kiss
Unfinished kiss hangs in the air between us
Lips that touched as friends catch afire:
Surprising desire.....
 
Unfinished kiss - such delicious tension
Is it just me and my fancy
Or did we start dancing?
 
Your breath on skin,
Your questioning eyes,
Will we plunge in?
Would that be wise?
 
The door to bliss swings open on silent hinges.
Will we step through?
What will happen if we don’t? 
If we do?

Flying Free
By Barbara McAfee and Glen Helgeson
I am flying in the water
I am perfectly free
I float suspended at the smooth surface
of this deep freshwater sea.
 
Sky creature, sea creature
No gills, no fins, no wings
Yet I am flying..........free.
 
I am flying in the water
Sweet reunion in my cells
For I am made of mostly water
Surely this lake can tell
 
Mother water, I am returning
To my holiest home
I am flying.........free.
 
I am soaring, I am floating, can you see me
As you float there, Brother Eagle, above the trees?
 
Sky creature, sea creature
No gills, no fins, no wings
Yet I am flying........free.
 
Compared to What?
Chorus:
Compared to what? Compared to who?
Where'd that standard come from that you're measuring up to?
Compared to what? Compared to who?
There's nobody else who's just like you.

I'm foolish with money, I talk too much
My abs aren’t sexy ‘cause they’re soft to the touch
I’m shy at parties and I’m way too tall
We don’t look like those people on TV at all....Chorus

I’m much too rowdy to be a real girl
We don’t do enough to save the world
Your moods are dramatic, my tongue gets crass
And don’t get me started on the shape of my ass.....Chorus

Yes, you’re the only you and I’m the only me
And both parties are required to make a decent “we”
Let’s drive the comparisons out of our head
And leave it for the apples and the oranges instead....Chorus

Awake
I swear, by the stars I am made of
I will stay awake with you
If it should fall apart
I will remember the heart
 
A dark age when the shadows descended
There were those who circled round
To keep the spark alight
And carry it through the night
 
The power of life
Of which everything is made
Will move within us and among us
In the quickening.....
 
I bow to the millions of people
Whose faces I will never see
Who work so faithfully
To stay awake with me.
 
A fierce joy and the song we are singing
Will carry us beyond the fear
That comes when it gets dark
We will remember the heart

The power of life
Of which everything is made
Will move within us and among us
In the quickening.....
First verse

I’ll Never Be That Girl
I’ll never be that girl
The one someone loves best in all the world
The princess, the darling
The one precious pearl
I’ll never be that girl
 
I’m the one that he comes to
To pour out his heart when she’s making him blue
The perpetual sister, the trusted friend
And when he goes back to her, I’m alone again
 
I’m so big and bright and wild
Who’d ever guess I have the heart of a child
Whose most secret blossoms have so rarely have unfurled
I’ll never be that girl
 
Never was the apple of my daddy’s eye
Without his voice to hold me
I sing my own lullaby
 
Looking through my loving eyes
My young face in old pictures cannot disguise
Her sweetness runs deeper than ruffles and curls
I’ll always be that girl
I’ll always be that girl……

White Cow
Based on a poem by Rumi, translated by Coleman Barks
On a small green island lives one white cow
And the grass there grows thick and tall.
All day the white cow eats her fill
Until she’s eaten it all.
 
The sun sets.
The cow grows thin,
Worried the grass won’t grow again.
 
At light’s returning, to the cow’s surprise,
The grass is shoulder high.
Every day there’s plenty.
Every night she doubts,
And, White Cow, so do I.
 
I am this white cow,
No matter how often things work out...
 
Now can you tell me
How the poet knew
Seven hundred years ago
That a fretful woman
In the wee small hours
Would recognize this white cow?
 
I am this white cow
No matter how often things work out.....
 
On a small green island
Lives one white cow
And the grass grows thick and tall
All day the white cow eats her fill
Until she’s eaten it all
 
White cow
I think I might
Lie down and sleep tonight.......

Girlfriends
I always have fun with my girlfriends
When we step out on the town
We cry at the movies and laugh over wine
They tell me their stories and listen to mine
I don’t have to try with my girlfriends
They take me as I am
It’s never been just quite this simple with a man.
 
It’s always so good with my girlfriends
It doesn’t matter what we do
We shop for our groceries and laugh through the aisles
Or go to the gardens and wander for miles
They give me their warmest affection
Especially when I’m blue
With the girlfriends at hand, there’s nothing I can’t do.
 
You just never know with the girlfriends
Exactly where you’ll end up going
We solve the world’s problems, then talk about sex
And dream the adventures we’re taking on next
We pick out the paint for our houses
Trade books or sing a tune
When it’s time to part ways, it always feels too soon.
 
Why don’t we live with our girlfriends?
We wonder all the time.
In old days, they tell us, the women and men
Lived separately most of the time way back then
There’s no disrespect for the fellas
God knows we love our men
It’s just so much easier to do not living with them.
 
They give me their warmest affection
Especially when I’m blue
With the girlfriends at hand, there’s nothing I can’t do.

Out the Door
It’s high time I was leaving and I wanted you to know
That a free and easy part of me left some time ago
I don’t recognize this woman you take me for
And my heart flies out the door
 
You’re watching way too closely for the ways you think I’m wrong
Got ideas for self-improvement you gotta pass along
I shrivel under scrutiny with no kindness at its core
And now my heart flies out the door
 
I’ve no taste for provocation so I choose to bite my tongue
And measure out the things I say to keep from getting stung
That’s the consequence for candor that takes me to the floor
My heart flies out the door
 
There’s something so relentless
In how you’re holding up that mirror
And who gave you permission to come poking ‘round in here?
I know everybody loses when we start keeping score....
 
It’s high time I was leaving and I wanted you to know
That a free and easy part of me left some time ago
I don’t recognize this woman you take me for
And my heart flies out the door
 
And how come each time I talk to you
You get so fidgety and bored?
Was that your heart I just saw flying out the door?
 
Blessing
Based on the poem, "Blessing of the Boats at St. Mary's" by Lucille Clifton
May the tide that is entering even now
The lip of our understanding
Carry you out beyond the face of fear.
May you kiss the wind and turn away
Certain it will love your back.
May your eyes be open 
To water waving forever
And may you in your innocence
Sail through this to that

Mango Tango
My love, come join me in the kitchen
I have a secret waiting there for you
It’s sitting boldly in the fruit bowl
And blushing at the thought of what we’ll do.
We’ll peel, we’ll slice the slippery morsels
That glow with the color of the sun
Then feast and feed them to each other
And let our imaginations run

When you dance the mango tango
You must do so sans costume
For the juice runs thick and sweet and sticky
As you move with your love across the room.

The juice will slide between our fingers
Then drip down our elbows to our knees
Our chests will run golden with the sweetness
And that’s when we’ll share a sticky squeeze.
 
When you dance the mango tango
Be sure you love the partner that you choose
For you’ll be stuck together for a long time
Till your dancing makes you sweat and turns you loose.
And one mango plus one tango will seduce